Tomorrow our Arab is leaving us on a 30 day trial to a women (Arab lover) who potentially is going to give him his new (final) home. I bought this boy as a second riding horse when my first one, whom I spent years rehabbing and retraining, ended up having physical issues limiting his capabilities. The Arab ended up being too much for me and my residual anxieties from a bad accident. Too forward, too quick, too opinionated under saddle. A gem on the ground. We've had him 2 years, bought him from a man diagnosed with terminal cancer, and have not been able to do much with him. All the work, money, time, effort and frustration that went into trying to make it work added up to him needing a new home. The person taking him had a blast riding him (as I watched them trot/walk the whole ride thinking....not for me!) and seems to be a quality horse person. However, I'm feeling so sad. Sad to see him go as I realize how much a part of our family he became, and how bonded we really are, despite not riding. Sad to let the original owners down. Sad to know he's going to a "new" environment, out of his comfort zone, because of my inability. I am fighting playing over and over in my head what more I could have, or SHOULD have done, questioning WHY I lost my nerve that made him so scary to me, and feeling so bad that the forever home I promised him I am now reneging on. This is the part of horse ownership I hate. But I'm trying to do the right thing, for him and us. Wealth does not springing eternal, we are getting older, and the horses needs far outweigh the returns we get at this point. I pray God supernaturally intervenes and pours out a spirit of acceptance and peace on me, and him, and the new "owner" so that the adjustment for all of us is favorable. I know MANY others have been through this, and some, a number of times. My first time parting with a horse I "owned" was much easier. This is the hardest ever. It has been a lesson to me, at his expense I feel, and I hope the days coming are easier in all ways horse related for us, and better for him at his new home, where he will reign as king, I'm sure. So hard to say goodbye when you hoped for a different outcome.
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